If you're here, one of you has decided that things can't stay the way they are.
Something has shifted between you. Maybe it happened slowly, a gradual drifting apart until you realized you feel more like roommates than partners. Maybe it was sudden, a betrayal or a conflict that cracked the foundation. Either way, the connection you once felt has become harder to reach, and the attempts to fix things on your own keep falling flat or making things worse.
You might be stuck in the same argument on repeat, where the topic changes but the pain underneath stays the same. You might notice communication breakdowns where every conversation seems to end in defensiveness or withdrawal. Maybe there's emotional distance that neither of you knows how to close, or trust issues that make it hard to feel safe with each other.
If any of this sounds familiar, couples therapy can help. You don't need to wait until things feel like a crisis. Coming in early, when you first notice things aren't working, tends to make the work faster and easier. But if things do feel urgent right now, that's OK too.
How I Work with Couples
I want to be upfront about something: couples therapy with me is not about taking sides or assigning blame. It's not about figuring out who is "right." Both of you are bringing your full histories, your wounds, your coping strategies, and your hopes into this relationship. My job is to help you both see that more clearly.
Much of what causes conflict in relationships has roots that go deeper than the surface-level disagreement. The patterns you fall into with each other, the ways you shut down or lash out or pull away, often trace back to experiences and beliefs that were shaped long before this relationship began. When you start to understand that, something shifts. Compassion becomes possible, even in the middle of frustration.
I help both partners develop awareness of these patterns. We slow things down enough to notice what's actually happening beneath the arguments. What are you each feeling? What are you each needing? What old story is getting activated? From that place of understanding, we can begin to build healthier communication and a more honest, grounded connection.
The Body in Relationships
One of the things that makes my approach different is the attention we pay to what's happening in your body during sessions. Relationships are deeply physical experiences. You know this already. You feel it when your partner says something and your stomach tightens, or when you notice yourself holding your breath during a difficult conversation, or when your jaw clenches and you go quiet.
These are not just reactions. They are information. Learning to notice when you shut down or get reactive, and understanding what's driving that response, gives you a choice you didn't have before. Instead of being pulled into the same automatic patterns, you can pause, stay present, and respond from a more grounded place. This kind of somatic awareness can change the entire dynamic between you.
How the Work Unfolds
Sessions are 50 minutes, and I recommend meeting weekly, especially in the beginning. Consistency matters in couples work because it builds momentum and trust in the process. The fee is $325 per session.
In our work together, I'll help you practice being present with each other instead of reactive. We'll develop new ways of communicating that go beyond surface-level fixes. And we'll explore the deeper roots of your relational patterns so that change isn't just behavioral, but something you both feel in your bones.
Some couples come in and notice a shift within the first few weeks. For others, the work takes longer. There is no formula, and I won't rush you. What I will do is stay honest with you about what I see, hold space for both of you, and help you build something that feels real.
Why This Approach
Couples therapy with me isn't about conflict resolution techniques or communication scripts. Those can help, but they don't touch the deeper patterns: the ways each of you learned to protect yourselves, the histories you brought into this relationship before you ever met. That's where the real work is, and where lasting change comes from.
Approaches I Use for Couples Therapy
Somatic Psychology
Relationships live in the body. You feel it when your partner says something that makes your stomach drop, or when you notice yourself going quiet and closing off. Learning to recognize these responses gives you a window into your patterns before they become arguments, and a chance to respond differently.
Depth-Oriented Approaches
The conflicts you have with your partner rarely start there. They trace back to patterns learned earlier in life: how you learned to protect yourself, what you believed you deserved, how safe it felt to need someone. Understanding those roots changes how you relate to each other at a level communication techniques alone can’t reach.
Mindfulness
In the middle of conflict, most people are on autopilot. Mindfulness in couples work helps both partners slow down enough to notice what’s actually happening inside before reacting. That pause can change the entire trajectory of a difficult conversation.
Questions About Couples Therapy
Do both partners need to want therapy for it to work?
It helps when both partners are willing to show up, but they don't need to feel equally enthusiastic. It's common for one person to initiate therapy while the other feels hesitant or unsure. What matters most is a willingness to be honest and to try. Many reluctant partners find that therapy feels different from what they expected, and they begin to engage more fully once they experience the process.
What happens in a couples therapy session?
Sessions are 50 minutes long. We typically begin by checking in with both partners about what's been coming up since the last session. From there, we might explore a recent conflict, practice a new way of communicating, or slow down to notice what's happening in your bodies when difficult feelings arise. My role is not to take sides or referee arguments, but to help you both see the patterns that keep you stuck and find new ways of relating.
How long does couples therapy take?
Every couple is different. Some couples come in with a specific issue and find resolution within a few months of weekly sessions. Others are working through longer-standing patterns and benefit from six months or more. I recommend starting with weekly sessions so we can build momentum, and we'll regularly check in about how the work is going and what feels right for you both.
Is couples therapy the same as marriage counseling?
The terms are often used interchangeably. Both involve working with a therapist to improve the health of a relationship. Couples therapy applies to any committed partnership, married or not, and draws on a range of clinical approaches including somatic psychology and depth-oriented work. The goal in either case is to help you communicate better, understand each other more deeply, and build a more satisfying relationship.
How to Get Started
Getting started is simple. Here’s how the process works.
Schedule a Free Call
Book a free 15-minute phone consultation. Either or both of you can join. We’ll talk about what’s going on and whether working together makes sense. No obligation.
First Session
We’ll get to know each of your perspectives and what you’re both hoping to get from therapy. There’s no agenda to push through. We go at your pace.
Ongoing Work
Weekly sessions focused on building something real: not just reducing conflict, but genuinely understanding each other again.
What Clients Say
Aaron changed my life. He always had a way of calming me down. A master at breaking things down, he is truly the best of the best.
Peter F. · Portland, OR
Within 90 seconds of meeting Aaron, I knew there was an impalpable connection. He has this incredible way of making me answer my own questions. He really custom tailors each session in a natural way.
Kylie R. · Portland, OR